literature

Queen of Epicness {Prussia x Reader}

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“If I’m the King of Awesome, then will you be my Queen of Epicness?”

 

“Mein gott, this was a long day.” Prussia mumbled to himself as he stepped into the locker room. It had just been another boring day at work. But, he was still cool as ever today, he believed.

Once he was inside, he walked over to his locker and opened it. With a sigh of pleasure, he began pulling off his uniform shirt.

Just as the tee was over his head, the door opened. Prussia glanced over and noticed Romano had walked in, who was still in his uniform. “Hey Prussia, the boss says you have to go out for one more delivery.” He stated half-heartedly, thumb-pointing behind him towards the hallway.

In return, Prussia threw him an ‘Are-you-freaking-kidding-me’ look. “What? No way! It’s ten minutes before my shift ends,” He smirked and playfully tossed his used shirt at the grumpy Italian’s face.

Now irritated, Romano pulled the shirt off his head. “It’s the orders or you’re fired, dammit.”  Wadding the shirt up into a ball, he over-hand threw it back to Prussia and turned to leave.

Prussia caught the ball of shirt just before it fell to the ground. As Romano was halfway out the door, he paused to say, “Italy’s already got the pizza ready.”

With a groan, Prussia slipped his Roman Empire’s Pizzeria shirt back on. Slamming his locker shut, he irritably stepped out of the locker room to pick up the last pizza for delivery.

Once he was in the kitchen, Italy handed him the box with a smile. Honestly, he couldn’t help but feel bad for him. His grandpa was the owner here, and yet he still took advantage of his grandson’s kindness and overworked him quite often. But Italy didn’t seem to mind—he loved making pizzas. Romano though, was different. He also happened to be the owner’s grandson, but he refused to work more than six hours a day and still expected a paycheck higher than minimum wage.

After Romano gave Prussia the address, he walked outside to one of the delivery cars, got in, and started it up. One last delivery, he thought. This one better be interesting.

~* Queen of Epicness *~



You turned up the volume on your laptop to its highest level. Jumping up, you sang at the top of your lungs, “SOOO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT~!”

Okay, everyone knows that song. And not just because you had been singing it for the past hour.

Third year of college? Finished it yesterday. Parents? Out of the house. You? Busy having a one-person party.

Dancing around the apartment in nothing but your panties and a comfy t-shirt, you continued to sing as loud as you could, “SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WA-”

At that moment, a voice that sounded like your upstairs neighbor shouted out, “-SO I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT SO I CAN GO TO SLEEP!”

You inhaled sharply and fell over mid-skip. “Oof!” You whined as your body crashed to the ground, arms spread upwards. But upon falling to the soft carpet, you were quiet for a moment.

Oh yeah, your upstairs neighbor goes to bed at around nine in the evening.

…What a loser. It’s not even that late. “YEAH, GO TO SLEEP YA LOSER!” You shouted back, knowing he’d hear you through the above wall that separated you.

Unfortunately, he didn’t respond. Boo. You wanted someone to mess with right now.

Oh well, you could still have fun by yourself. You were totally awesome, after all. Didn’t need anyone else. Right? Yeah. That’s right.

Once you got up, you instantly remembered about the show you’d been planning to watch all day. Oh yeah! Completely forgot! It starts at nine-thirty!, you thought, and bolted straight for the living room.

Grabbing the remote, you turned on the TV and changed the channel for the show you needed to watch. I swear, if they leave off with another cliffhanger, I’m gonna have to smack a bitch!

Apparently, you tuned in right on time. The opening had just ended, and the show was starting. This better be good… you thought, plopping onto the couch and settling into a comfy position.

But just as the show began, you heard a knock on your door.

…GODDAMIT, THEY DID THAT ON PURPOSE!

With a growl, you threw down the remote and stalked over to the front door. How dare they interrupt you during a freaking show like that! Who did they think they were? No one could just come knockin’ at a time like this! They were probably some weird homeless dude asking for change or something dumb like th- oh wait, you ordered a pizza didn’t you?

You realized this only after you threw open the front door. It swung open so hard that it made a crashing sound against the opposite wall. There you stood in the doorway, half-crouching like a ninja, a pissed-off expression still on your face as you glared at the intruder.

The harmless pizza guy tossed you a confused look. “Hey frau, your pizza?” He pulled it out of its carrier and handed the box to you.

After a few seconds, you stood up straight. “…Where the hell have you been?! I ordered that thing over an hour ago!” You pointed frantically at the pizza box.

The guy looked like he was about to say something, but then he happened to look you over. A pink blush instantly crept across his cheeks as he noticed you were only in your underwear and a t-shirt.

“What’s the matter? Kitty got your tongue? Well next time, if you’re so much as ten minutes late, I’ll have my cat claw off your balls! You hear me? How does that sound, hm?” You’d leaned in till you were nose-to-nose with him, only because in the movies it made the angry person look more intimidating.

But instead of feeling that satisfaction, all you got was a whiff of his yummy cologne and a close-up of his gorgeous pinkish-red eyes.

Taken by surprise at your sudden close proximity, he stumbled back—successfully dropping your pizza box in the process. You smirked, mission accomplished. “HA! YOU DROPPED IT! SO IT’S FREE NOW, BOO YAH!” You jumped up and did a little happy-dance in place. Leaning down towards him, you giddily whisper-sang, “That’s what you get for messing with the awesome me~”

At that point, his eyes widened in shock.

You had taken it too far. But, he couldn’t blame you—he wanted an interesting delivery; he got an interesting delivery. Not every day did he go to the house of a hyper college girl in nothing but her panties and a t-shirt.

Maybe I’ll let that comment slide, he thought as he jumped back up, dusted himself off, and picked up the pizza box.

“Oh, so you still want to hand it to me? That’s fine, if you-”

He cut off your sentence with, “-So… Hello Kitty panties?” He said, pointing down to your partially exposed underwear.

You slowly looked down. And as soon as your eyes came in contact with pink and a red signature bow, your face burned deep red.

“…SHUT UP THEY WERE ON SALE.”

And thus you slammed the door in his face.

He stared at the closed door for a moment or two. First off, seriously? After making fun of him so much, you weren’t even going to take the pizza? Not that he was going to let you get away with claiming to be more awesome than him, he decided.

With a shrug, he turned around. He opened up the pizza box and helped himself to a slice. He usually didn’t get the chance to try one of Italy’s pizzas anyway, and he heard they were amazing.

Just as he took a step to walk out of the apartment complex’s hallway, your door opened again.

You stared, while he waved at you with the pizza slice. “Hi again, frau. Want some of my pizza?” He teased, a smirk on his obnoxiously adorable face.

After a moment, you pointed down at your open doorframe. “…Inside. Now.” You deadpanned through clenched teeth. He noticed you were now wearing a pair of hastily-put-on pajama pants.

You didn’t have to tell him twice. He was now off the clock, so it didn’t matter anyways.

Without waiting for you to move aside, he pushed past you into the apartment’s entryway. “Cool. I could use a blowjob anyway,” He stated casually.

You nearly choked on your own spit. “THIS ISN’T A HOUSE FOR PROSTITUTION!”

He chuckled, “Then why’d ya let me in? And I was kidding.” He glanced around, and then plopped down onto the sofa.

You huffed and pointed to the kitchen, “Make me another pizza.”

From his comfy position on the couch, he looked over and lazily responded, “That… is not my job.”

Crossing your arms, you retorted back, “Yes it is! You’re a freaking pizza guy.”

“Pizza delivery. And I was being serious—making the pizzas is Italy’s job.”

You rolled your eyes, “Whatever. You still owe me a fresh pizza that wasn’t bit into by y-” But when you looked back at him, he wasn’t even paying any attention to you.

He was eyeing the TV with disinterest. “Lame,” He grabbed the remote to change the channel.

“HEY!” You shouted, and without thinking—dove straight for him. How dare he call your favorite show ‘lame’!

“AHH, WHAT ARE YOU DO-”

“-HOW DARE YOU TRY TO CHANGE THE FREAKIN’ CHANNEL!” You’d landed on top of him and struggled to keep him down as he began squirming.

“BUT IT WAS LAME!” He shouted back, trying to push you off his body.

“THAT’S MY FAVORITE SHOW, DAMMIT!” You managed to pin down one of his wrists.

“WELL IT’S LAME!” With a bit of wrestling skills, you got the other wrist.

“NO, YOU’RE LAME!” You moved your legs to sit over his, that way he could struggle less. Luckily you’d already pinned both of his arms.

As he continued squirming and trying to free himself from your death grips, he shouted back, “You’re not gonna get away with calling me lame!”

You grinned in victory and kept your sitting position over his legs. Moving to hold both of his wrists in one hand, you used your free arm to grab the remote and change back the TV channel.

Only to see it’s now on a commercial. “DAMN YOU PIZZA GUY, SEE WHAT YOU DID?!” You playfully (read: not so playfully) tried to smack him with the remote. But as the device got close to his face, he somehow freed one of his wrists from your grip and halted the attack with one swift hand movement.

Wow, talk about reflexes.

But if he was this strong, why hadn’t he stopped you before? “The name’s Prussia, not Pizza Guy!”

Ignoring your sudden attraction to his strength, you shouted back, “Well why are you named after a country that doesn’t exist anymore?!”

“Shut up— it’s East Germany now!”

“No, Germany is just Germany~!” You teased. This topic actually seemed to annoy him. Good. Served him right for having such an uncomfortably hard, toned, muscle-y body that you weren’t actually attracted to in any way, no matter what you previously thought. No matter what.

With that last comment of yours, he pushed you off his legs. You fell over to the carpet with a squeal, “Hey-!” Well, good. It wasn’t like you wanted to continue straddling him anyways.

He brushed himself off, and stood up. Looking down towards you, a somewhat confused look crossed his face. “…You must be bored, aren’t you?”

You shrugged, still sitting on the carpet. “No,” God, all evening you’d been bored out of your mind. “Why?”

He crossed his arms and stared down at you with a self-satisfied grin on his face. “’Cause no one just invites a pizza guy in just to mess with him.”

You looked away, pouting. “I’m not just messing with you. I’m too cool for that. I don’t just invite strangers in ‘cause I’m lonely or anything dumb like that, gosh! I only wanted you to make me another pizza.” You nodded once in confirmation.

He chuckled, and pulled your arm up so you’d stand. “Hey, what’s your name?”

A tiny blush making its way across your face, you told him your name.

Once you’d said it, he looked you over once more—which made you feel a little self-conscious, not that you’d ever admit it. “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy-”

“-But sing that dumb song and I’ll kill you maybe~” You interrupted.

He chuckled again, and patted the top of your head. “So come have a drink with me.”

You stiffened. Clearly, you weren’t expecting that.

“A-A drink? With you?! No way—we just met! You could be a pervert or weirdo or try to date-rape me or something!” You were covering your burning face with your hands, shaking it from side to side with embarrassment.

Prussia barely noticed your flustered state. He waved it off carelessly, “Oh please, anyone would be proud to get asked for a date by me~”

Removing your hands from your face, you asked challengingly, “Why you? You’re not that cool.”

He glared at you, “I am cool! I’m the awesome Prussia!”

“You’re not that awesome to me,”

He smirked, “Come have a drink with me and we’ll change that.”

You groaned—but secretly, you were weighing your options. First off, you’d never met him before. But you actually doubted he was the shady type. And second, there was the fact that you were alone and bored as usual. You’d always thought that didn’t matter—you were fine on your own. But maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to have some company for once. Prussia didn’t exactly seem intolerable either, no matter how much you acted like he annoyed you.

“Well…” You placed your hands on your hips and looked him over.

On the inside, he was shocked beyond infinite. How could anyone not want to hang out with the greatest me?!, he was internally shouting.

“…Alright. Only because you owe me a pizza. I guess you can make it a beer or two instead.” You examined your nails as if you weren’t excited as hell to go to a bar with him.

He immediately fist-pumped, “Awesome! I-I mean, I knew you would say that! How could anyone turn down the chance to have a beer with Prussia? Kesesese, you like me and you know it!” He teased, practically in chibi-mode while poking you repeatedly and petting your hair.

You scoffed, “No way! It’s just ‘cause you owe me and nothing else!”

~* Queen of Epicness *~



You looked around the room again. The music pounded in your ears, the walls blurred each time your eyes shifted, and there was an unfamiliar dizzy feeling in the back of your skull. Everything was spinning—but in the good, interesting kind of way.

Setting down your mug, you took in a deep breath. You briefly closed your eyes and felt the light buzz.

On the stool next to you, Prussia laughed at your visible weakness. “Can’t even hold your beer? Pathetic! We, like, just started drinking~” He teased, placing an elbow on the bar table and resting his face against his palm.

You glared at him, “Shut up! I so can. But it’s not like I’m used to going to bars every night like you probably are.”

He continued to stare at you lovingly, “And so what if I am? I’m still cooler than you.” And thus he let out another one of those funny-yet-annoying ‘kesesese’ laughs.

You rolled your eyes. “Quit saying you’re better than me. You’re just a pizza guy while I am in college.” You poked his cheek at the ‘I’, and leaned onto the bar counter from your stool.

“College? Bo-oring!”

You couldn’t help it—you laughed at his charmingly-childish response. “So what makes you think you’re so awesome?”

His eyes widened in slight surprise, “Do you even need to ask? Look at me!” He thumb-pointed towards himself and grinned smugly.

You looked him over again. He was still in his Roman Empire’s Pizzeria uniform. But you had to admit—those crimson-red irises and head of silvery-gray hair were definitely eye-catching and beautiful.

Normally you would have said something clever right back, but the alcohol you’d been drinking didn’t help you come up with anything good. All you managed to say was, “…I’m still awesomer than you.”

He chuckled, “No way. I’m clearly the most-awesomer! Other guys are scared to fight me while all the girls are dying to date me.” He claimed, trying to discreetly flex his muscles but failing terribly at it.

You shook your head. “Oh, sure,” You said sarcastically, and pointed to yourself. “But this girl isn’t.”

A seductive smirk took over his face as he leaned in and whispered into your ear, “You will be~”

You couldn’t help but blush. After a couple seconds, you immediately moved away from his face and tried to shake off the blush so he wouldn’t see. “In your dreams! If anything, you would die to be with me.” Oh god, what were you saying? No more beer for you from now on.

He laughed again at your stubbornness. But, he thought it was adorable. “And what makes you say that?”

“’Cause you invited me to come have a drink with you.”

“Maybe I do that to everyone.”

“Or maybe just to me ‘cause you think I’m cute.”

He grinned. This was getting interesting. “How do I know it’s not just you who think I’m cute?”

You scoffed, “I don’t.” What a liar.

“Then why’d you invite me into your house?”

Flustered, you retorted back with a heavy blush, “B-Because I needed you to make me a pizza!”

“…Riiiight~” He waved you off, eyes closed modestly, mouth in his usual smirk. His voice was nearly dripping with sarcasm.

“It’s true!”

“No it’s not. Admit you’re attracted to me.”

“No… way! I refuse. How about you admit you’re into me? ‘Cause that’s the kind of vibe I’m getting here.” You crossed your arms and huffed, still facing him over your stool.

“Ah, just admit you’ve got a thing for the King of Awesome~”

Would he ever stop teasing? “’King of Awesome’? I believe you mean Queen. Oh, and that is clearly my title.”

He turned on his stool to fully face you again. “You’re wrong there. Only the King of Awesome can do this-”

The only thing you saw next was him leaning in. Your eyes widened for a split second as you noticed him move in closer to your face. And it all seemed to happen in slow motion.

As if they had a will of their own, your eyelids fluttered closed just as you felt a soft, smooth, warm feeling press against your lips. And for a moment, you didn’t move. Didn’t think.

Although, you could feel your heart pounding as if inside your ears. The chatter of the bar instantly droned into background noise, almost like static. A delicious scent of cologne drafted into your senses—just as you realized that it came from him.

Oh god, he was kissing you. What now? This guy was obnoxious, wasn’t he? …Yes, he was self-centered, rude, pushy, arrogant, concei- oh what the hell, why not kiss him back?

Your body felt like it had heated up a few degrees. Just as you pulled back for air, Prussia wasted no time claiming your mouth again. This time, he less-clumsily tilted his head as he touched his lips to yours. You followed, but still felt his nose brush against the side of your own. Oh, how soft his skin was. It sent tingles of excitement through your veins.

You could barely feel your arms. In fact, you had no idea what you were doing with them. But Prussia used his to gently cup your cheeks and hold you in place. Pfft, as if you’d push him away.

The kiss, though it felt lingering and tender, was actually short-lived and surprisingly inexperienced. The way Prussia’s teeth accidentally clinked against yours was a dead giveaway that he didn’t kiss very often.

Embarrassed, he pulled away. But you weren’t exactly done with him yet. Even though your arms felt like noodles, you tugged on his collar and brought him back in. What am I doing? …Oh wait, it doesn’t matter, you thought as you felt him smirk against your lips.

This time, your mouths moved in perfect synchronization with each other. But you couldn’t take all the credit—maybe he was good at kissing after all. “Mmpf…~” The sweet, repetitive sounds of lip-touching were all you could hear and it was exhilarating. You almost lost yourself in the pure bliss and waves of pleasure shooting through your body.

Realizing you were both still on bar stools, you clutched onto the counter for support and kept crossing and un-crossing your legs. The immense heat was spreading to all places of your anatomy and you weren’t sure how much longer you could take it.

Okay, he wins.

He’s the better of you two. The ‘most-awesomer’, if he could really get you up to this state.

After another moment, Prussia broke out of the sudden make-out. Perhaps he needed a few gasps of air, like you did.

Looking down, you tried to catch your breath. But before you could, you felt Prussia’s lips brush against your ear. His hot, whispered breath tickled your earlobe as he said, “If I’m the King of Awesome, then will you be my Queen of Epicness?”

Heart pounding, you sputtered out, “…Y-Yes.”

At that moment, he pulled away. Glancing at your face, he gave you one of his signature smirks. “Let’s go on another awesome date sometime, ja?”

A.N: …Okay, first kiss-scene in what-feels-like-forever. Gosh you guys, I’ve written over 20 Hetalia reader-inserts, and only like 5 of them have had a kiss-scene. x3 Oh and, I think I went overboard with the ‘awesome’ thing… GODDAMMIT, THAT’S WHAT EVERYONE USES, AND I TRY NOT TO USE THE SAME THING AS EVERYONE ELSE ;_; -! *headdesk*

…You have no idea how much this bothers me France (Mad) [V5] Romano (Mad while holding a tomato) [V4] Austria (Objection) [V1] England (Solve your own problems) [V3] Germany (Disappointed) [V2]  -!

Anyway... Please comment to tell me how I did? And asdfghjkl LOL tsundere Reader is tsundere. Prussia (Explaining) [V4] 

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ameripan4life's avatar

Prussia caught the ball of shirt just before it fell to the ground. As Romano was halfway out the door, he paused to say, “Italy’s already got the pizza ready.”

Oml when I read this, I read it as ball of SHIT.

XD wth me.